Started testosterone

Mondays with always be T day for me! The first Monday of my very first testosterone shot was exciting and frustrating.

That morning we had to pick of my medication from the pharmacy, required at my appointment with the nurse at the El Rio clinic for T-teaching. Medication in hand on time it’s noon I get to the front desk to find out that I have to wait till 1:30pm because unknowing my Consultation for my IUD was scheduled before T-teaching. So I go over to midwives chat about IUDs and get scheduled for a Uterine ultrasound to check on it’s health because I have very heavy 12 day periods not the average. it’s about 1:15 by the time I get back up to the front desk to check in for T-teaching, buy they say instead I am scheduled for a retna scan???? Finally after running about the clinic up and down stairs, and having to out myself by making an announcement that I am not here for a retna scan I am here for testosterone teaching, at more than one desk. Finally I go back to the front desk and we get the manager on the phone, they correct the mistake they made, ask me if I have my medication which at this point I have been blantly pointing out that I am hold a bag with testosterone in it and I need help from the nurse at my primary care to help me use it…arg…why is this like an argument, I felt like was on trial ad this was the part where I faced the part where I was begging for mercy that I was not lying I have an appointment and I have all intentions to give myself testosterone shots, and I must to this today. After the said I could go out outside the primary care door I giggled to my self as I bounced up the stairs. They use my self choosen name when call me back to be seen, which always makes me smile, and I hardly get to use my name. Which is very awkward because I have to wait for people around me to first accept that I changed my name and that I’m trans and then do thier best while practicing.

So I finally get back to wait in the nurse in the room, see gets back there takes my vitals and it time. I am nervous 😨 the shot will hurt more because I’ve never done it but I have to leave here feeling confident I can do it or the whole thing is a bust.

I exclaimed to her the trouble the pharmacist gave me about the dose she confirmed that I am starting on the lowest dose for FtM at 0.2 and that there was 5 doses in a 200mg bottle. So 5 weeks worth.

Next came my concern about the size of the suringe because they are huge, the needle was a 22 gaudge at 1 1/2″ long. I had been researching needles size and gaudge on the way in the bus and determined for myself that this was not gauge and length of needle for my body wieght of 120 lbs. I didn’t know what gaudge but at the very least I know that 1″ needle was more appropriate for my body weight.

The nurse laughed at bit 😂 because she already knew as I was showing her the suringe and needle combo I was given was for the medical draw from the bottle and they we would be switching needles to the 1″ 23 gaudge.

At that point it was time to learn how to draw up the Testosterone into the suringe. Everything was going to fine, I measured out the 2ml of air to replace the space where the T will was that I’m taking out of the bottle. Then after the air was out I pulled the tip on the needle down into the T then a pulled it into the suringe air and T to about the 4ml mark, then I push the air out a flicked the bottle and suringe for air bubbles and pushed up to the 2ml line. Next I had to chscha the needle from the 22″ to the 23″. This was when we found out that the lock on the suringe was slipy and so I lost almost .5 ml of my first dose when I tried changing the needle.

Needle all changed it was go time I located the spot on my butt that I had previously picked out on the upper quadrant of my right butt cheek, getting her okay, used and alcohol pad to coeac the area. She stopped me a said to pull the skin tight and not let go until after I pull the needle back out so I don’t injury myself or cause pain.

I was ready got in position found the spot and held the skin tight with my other hand. The needle went in easily no pushing no pain and I push the 2ml T in, all the way in and pulled out the needle. All done 👍. Easy really and feeling full of confidence in my self and my future and all my 💓 for myself, I pulled up my pants.

How did I feel, how do I feel. No one asked me. I mean come on you want to know right???

This is how I felt; warm in the legs at first and then this….I case y’all where wondering how it feels, how I feel. This far, my mind has entered into calmer than ever, in a place where I can get a ride to the airport on the 4th floor of the library of the Congress of my higher self, that I felt slip into my body as I walked down the street on Monday, and I just leaned back into it naturally.